resentful (adjective): feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly.
To talk about the fact that being resentful is not productive would be a waste of time, we all know this. Then why do we find ourselves resentful so often? A better question actually is: what can we do to avoid becoming resentful? Here are 5 Strategies: communicate your expectations, be observant, listen to your intuition, value and nurture yourself and express your true value.
Strategies for avoiding becoming resentful:
1. Check and communicate your expectations – when you enter an agreement with someone check your expectations and make sure you discuss both the best case scenario and the worst case scenario and have consequences for both.
Let's say we buy something at the store and then we come home and notice the item does not work as specified. We feel cheated and resentful and we want it corrected so we take the item back. The higher the ticket item, the higher our dissatisfaction.
2. Observe before you act.
When you enter a new relationship observe the other person. Instead of asking yourself “does she like me” ask “what do I like about her” - be observant.
3. Listen to that inner voice that gives you the red flags.
When something goes wrong with a friend, employee or a client and I reflect back I see how I have had my warnings from inside but I chose to ignore them.
4. Value and nurture yourself.
Give to yourself, nurture yourself so you feel good and taken care of. When you go around feeling depleted and you expect others to take care of you it is very easy to become resentful. When you feel well taken care of then it is much easier to stay positive even when things do not go as planned.
5. Periodically reassess your value.
If you are in business, what are the new courses you took, the new books you read, the new projects you completed? For your personal life, what value do you bring to a relationship, do you give good advice, good tips, good energy, create great events? Then make sure that what you receive in exchange matches the value. For business I would say every 3 months you need to reassess your value and make sure you know the results you are producing and the reward that you need to get in exchange so it feels fair.
Your Strategic Achievement Assignment:
How do you avoid being resentful? Think back at the last time you become resentful and share how one of the 5 strategies would have prevented that.
Would love to hear from you, please comment below.